Chicken Noodle Soup
by Blue September Rain
Summary: It's after the Mariemaya War and Heero must learn to live a war free life. He must learn the things customary of every day living? Can he do it?


author notesHello everyone. I felt like being humorous, so this story just kinda.. happened. It's really random. I don't know what I was thinking. --'

I don't own Gundam Wing, blah blah blah we all know the routine. /author notes

--Chicken Noodle Soup --

January 5, A.C. 197 

Heero stood in the small kitchen of his apartment, staring at the enemy. It was just sitting there, mocking him. Heero glared at it.

"I don't like you and you don't like me, but we've got to cooperate." He told it. The enemy said nothing. "Stop staring at me!" Heero shouted at it. Once again, silence.

Heero reached out to the counter and picked up a small device. The woman at the store had called it a 'can opener'. He looked at it. A device such as this shouldn't be this hard to figure out. After a sufficient glare at the can opener, he looked back to the enemy. The can of chicken noodle soup was just sitting on the counter, watching him.

"Why didn't Dr. J cover this in basic training?" He asked to no one in particular. Slowly, Heero took a step forward towards the counter. He picked up the can and looked at it. His mission was simple enough: to open the can, and cook the contents.

First, Heero tried banging on the can with the can opener. When that didn't work, he hit the edge of the can on the counter. That didn't work either. He inspected the can opener again. There seemed to be some sort of sharp blade on the can opener. Perhaps that's what was supposed to be used to open the can. He pulled apart the two handles of the can opener and tried to somehow attach the can opener to the top of the can. After several minutes of trying every single possible way, he found it, and clamped the handles together.

"Ha! Not so strong, are you can?" He asked, glaring at it once more. He was silent for a moment. "What now?"

He once again inspected the bloody contraption, then realized that maybe that little turning thing had some significance. He turned it. The can opener dug into the metal of the can lid and started to cut it. Heero mentally patted himself on the back. He turned it again and again until finally, the lid of the can popped off.

"Success!" Heero said, pushed the can opener and the lid away from him on the counter. Now all he had to do was cook it. How hard could that be?

He took the pan from the cupboard and set it on the stove. He poured the contents of the can into the pan. He waited. After a few minutes, he looked into the pan. The only thing that was happening was that a weird layer of oil was forming on the surface of the soup.

"Stupid…" He mumbled. He pulled open a drawer and found a spoon. He stuck the spoon into the soup and stirred it. The layer of oil broke apart, and Heero was satisfied with himself. He waited again. The layer came back.

Frowning, he touched the pan. It was cold. That was it! The soup had to be hot to cook. But how…

He noticed the dials on the stove. Turning on, he saw that the back burner was starting to turn red. (a/n: it's one of those fancy electric ones with the flat surface if you know what I'm talking about…) He was about to touch it, but decided against it. He turned it off.

He looked at the symbols next to the dial. "There must be some way of deciphering these symbols." Heero muttered. He turned the knob next to the one he had turned before. The area under his pan started to turn red. He looked into the pan and saw that the soup was starting to do something.

So he waited.

And soon there was a smell. It was a strange smell. He looked over into the pan. The smell was defiantly coming from in there. He leaned closer and sniffed again. It was a terrible smell. He noticed then that the noodles and chicken were at the bottom of the pan, and they looked dark. The smell got stronger. Finally, he picked up his spoon to figure out what was going on. He scraped the bottom of the pan and pulled the spoon out. There were burnt noodles and pieces of chicken on the spoon. Heero sighed. "Perhaps…" He picked up the can.

Directions

Stove Top: Empty contents into sauce pan. Heat on low and stir occasionally.

That's what he forgot. He quickly stirred the soup. The noodles and chicken floated up and to the surface of the pan. Heero smiled for himself.

He thought he was doing it right now. But it started to boil. Heero tried to stir it more to make it stop, but nothing happened. It kept boiling more and more until it rose to the top of the pan. He panicked. He grabbed the pan off of the stove and held it. A little of the boiling soup boiled over and hit Heero's arm. It sizzled and Heero winced. He glared at the stove, then at the pan. Finally, he dumped the pan into the sink. He turned off the stove.

He left the kitchen and found a pad of paper and a pen.

_Note to Self: Don't buy anything in a can._

He taped this note up to the back of the front door to remind him every time he left the apartment.

His stomach growled angrily at that point. Heero looked back into the kitchen and saw that a little black smoke was swirling around the ceiling. He grabbed his coat and left the apartment.

Pizza was sounding good at the moment.

-- -- -- --

So there's my random story. It's all in good fun people.

Like it? Tell me. Hate it… don't care. Haha. Flames can, may and possibly will be ridiculed, because I'm like that.

Later.


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